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Why do I want my therapist to care about me?
We feel more confident in the care we’ll receive It might also help us feel more confident about how well we’ll be treated as a “good patient.” “People may also be under the impression that they would receive better care if their therapist likes them,” Beroldi said. What clients do better in therapy than others? Overall, the interviewees agreed that those clients who are motivated and willing to do the work to make positive change will have the best success rate for lasting results. Therapists are people just like you For example, a therapist may be drawn to people with complex trauma histories and enjoy working with them. Others, on the other hand, may relate more to the circumstances of some clients than others. But clinicians also learn quite a lot from their clients. “One of the things I value most about working in this profession is the deep privilege and honor of being able to reap great wisdom from my clients,” said therapist Joyce Marter, LCPC. Indeed, like therapists, patients may develop sexual or romantic feelings for the person with whom they are working so closely and intimately, sometimes for months or years. If you believe you’re safe and comfortable with a hug from your therapist, it doesn’t hurt to ask for one. Of course, your therapist has a right to say no.
Does my therapist actually care about me?
If you feel genuinely cared for by your therapist, it’s real. It’s too hard to fake that. And the truth is that most therapists (myself and the therapists I refer to) care too much. We do think about you outside of session. The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It’s a good idea to share as much as possible, because that’s the only way they can help you. Can I ask My Therapist What He/She Thinks of Me? Yes, you can, and yes you should. This is a reasonable question to ask a therapist, and any good therapist will be happy to answer. Looking ahead. Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you’re not alone in thinking you’ve disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you’ve overshared and talk it over with your therapist. Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session. It’s okay to ask your therapist about their life. Any questions you have in therapy are valid and are likely relevant to the therapeutic process. Whether your therapist answers the question and shares personal information can depend on their individual personality, philosophy, and approach to your treatment.
Why am I emotionally attached to my therapist?
The general idea is that, unconsciously, emotional feelings that you may have had or wished you could have had as a child are transferred from your parents or other caretaker to your therapist. So clients often have feelings for their therapists that are like the ones that children have towards their parents. It’s not uncommon for therapists to have feelings for clients, and vice versa—call it transference, countertransference, or something else. But we have to remember that it’s the therapist’s job to meet the client’s therapeutic needs and goals, not the therapist’s own personal or professional wants and needs. When it comes to a therapist who you paid to listen to you, though, it may feel more complicated. But missing your former therapist is completely normal, experts say. First, recognize that you are not crazy or shameful for crushing on your therapist. It’s so common that psychoanalytic literature actually has a term for this phenomenon: transference,1 The term was coined by psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud in his Studies on Hysteria, published in 1895.
Why am I fantasizing about my therapist?
You may be surprised to know that what you are experiencing with your therapist isn’t uncommon. In fact, what you are likely experiencing is a phenomenon known as “erotic transference,” which is when a person experiences feelings of love or fantasies of a sexual or sensual nature about his or her therapist. When working with a therapist, one of the first things they will pick up on is your body language. People use their bodies to tell stories, and when there are inconsistencies in their stories or if they are not truthful, body language is a good way to pick up on those cues. Most therapists (71 percent) said they, either sometimes or regularly, found a client sexually attractive. Approximately 23 percent had fantasized about being in a romantic relationship and 27 percent about having sexual contact with a patient. Try starting by talking to your therapist and giving it some time to see how things change (or don’t change). If you don’t feel better about the relationship after a while, that might be the time to find another therapist to work with. Googling a therapist can raise feelings of guilt for some clients, and I think that it is useful in therapy to discuss the relationship as openly as you feel able. I would suggest that having a conversation with your therapist around your internet search could be a great opportunity for good work in therapy.
Why does my therapist stare at me?
Therapists keep a close eye on you because: It helps them take in not just the content of what you’re saying, but how you’re saying it, your body language, and other subtle cues. Eye contact is one of many active listening skills that help them listen to you more deeply and show you they’re fully present. Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session. We walk a fine line of being on your side but making sure that you are grounded and can maintain proper boundaries. So yes, we as therapists do talk about our clients (clinically) and we do miss our clients because we have entered into this field because we remain hopeful for others. Therapists are people just like you For example, a therapist may be drawn to people with complex trauma histories and enjoy working with them. Others, on the other hand, may relate more to the circumstances of some clients than others. Developing romantic feelings for your therapist is common, and it’s called transference.