Table of Contents
What makes someone a bad therapist?
When a therapist becomes dismissive, defensive, disrespectful, or argumentative when you question what they say, they are bad. Therapists must model healthy relationships and objectively listen to what is being said to them. Dismissive behaviors cause people to question themselves and can lower self esteem. Discussing the facts of a situation without delving into your related emotions. Asking for prescription medication without being willing to put in the work in therapy. Believing your therapist can and will “cure” you. Talking about every detail of your day to avoid discussing uncomfortable topics. The last thing you want during your therapy sessions is to worry that your therapist is bored, not paying attention, or tired of you. If you’re leaving therapy feeling disappointed, you’re tense during your sessions, or your therapist keeps yawning, this may indicate that your therapist is tired of you. Patients aren’t the only ones to tear up during therapy — sometimes therapists do, too. You are leading a therapy session when your patient reveals she was horribly abused as a child. Yes. Therapist self-disclosure can be a powerful therapeutic tool, but self-disclosure is most definitely an advanced therapeutic skill. Good training programs teach therapists about the timing and the technique for self-disclosure. Ultimately, successful therapy means that your symptoms seem better managed or are decreasing, and you feel like you’re accomplishing your current goal(s) or raising your self-awareness outside of therapy.
What does a bad therapist look like?
Therapist is contentious with you or frequently confrontational. Counselor doesn’t remember your name and/or doesn’t remember your interactions from one session to the next. Therapist does not pay attention or appear to be listening and understanding you. Counselor answers the phone during your session. Therapists do get frustrated with clients from time to time, but some can handle difficult clients better than others. This may be due to training or inherent personality traits. We walk a fine line of being on your side but making sure that you are grounded and can maintain proper boundaries. So yes, we as therapists do talk about our clients (clinically) and we do miss our clients because we have entered into this field because we remain hopeful for others. Your relationship with a therapist can be one of the most meaningful, insightful, and productive collaborations you’ll have in your life. But it should ultimately come to an end — and that’s by design. “Therapy isn’t supposed to be forever,” says licensed therapist Keir Gaines. “There is an endpoint.” Silence gives the client autonomy within the session, so that they set the pace for the counselling. If the counsellor instead asked a question, they would be leading the counselling session, and potentially taking the client away from their own focus of attention and feelings. Some types of unethical behavior seen in the therapy space are: Violating confidentiality. Abandoning you as a client. Contacting you outside of office hours.
How should a therapist behave?
The most effective therapists make you feel accepted and validated, showing understanding and sympathy/empathy for whatever you’re going through. They will approach you with compassion and kindness, and build enough trust for you to share your darkest thoughts and memories with them. Therapists are human beings with emotions just like everyone else, and there are times when showing emotion in session can really help the client. One of the most important jobs a therapist has is to model a healthy interpersonal relationship, and there are no healthy interpersonal human relationships without emotion. Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session. Yes. We care. If you feel genuinely cared for by your therapist, it’s real. It’s too hard to fake that.
How can a therapist harm a client?
The therapist themselves may also be a source of harm for their clients. The therapist might make an error in providing treatment, e.g., teaching coping skills in a way that is misleading or inaccurate. A therapist might hold certain biases or assumptions and impose those on the client. A more recent study shows therapists prefer clients who are motivated and open-minded above all other qualities. Several therapists in a recent study shared characteristics with those they described as their ideal client. Knowing that you can say anything to your therapist and it will remain in the room helps you feel safe and builds trust between you and the therapist. For this reason, all therapists are legally and ethically bound to keep their sessions confidential and not share with anyone else what was talked about. Looking ahead. Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you’re not alone in thinking you’ve disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you’ve overshared and talk it over with your therapist. Back to Fictional Reader’s question about why it may be difficult to look a therapist in the eyes. Some possible root causes range from guilt, shame, anxiety, low self-esteem, shyness, past abuse, depression or autistic spectrum disorders to varying cultural norms and cognitive overload. About 75 percent of people who enter psychotherapy show some benefit from it. Psychotherapy has been shown to improve emotions and behaviors and to be linked with positive changes in the brain and body.
What is inappropriate for a therapist?
If a therapist talks excessively about themselves or overly discloses personal information, cannot accept constructive criticism, or refuses to discuss what the process will be like and what kind of progress can reasonably be expected, they are likely not the best choice for most clients. It’s okay to ask your therapist about their life. Any questions you have in therapy are valid and are likely relevant to the therapeutic process. Whether your therapist answers the question and shares personal information can depend on their individual personality, philosophy, and approach to your treatment. You also know therapy is working if you’re using the skills you learned in session, outside of session. For example, are you better able to set boundaries with others, prioritize your own needs and demands, and effectively deal with situations without spiraling into a panic attack? These are great signs of progress. A number of things could prompt a pause, but common reasons include financial concerns, health problems, schedule conflicts, lack or time, money, or a move. Sometimes the problem isn’t with you, but with your therapist. Therapists are people, too — people who may relocate, retire, or take a medical leave. If your therapist doesn’t say anything when you enter the room—and I mean not even a “hi” or a “how are you?”—it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re being rude. It’s not a test, and it’s not meant to make you feel a certain way. Believe it or not, the space is there so the therapist has less influence over the session. Therapy has been found to be most productive when incorporated into a client’s lifestyle for approximately 12-16 sessions, most typically delivered in once weekly sessions for 45 minutes each. For most folks that turns out to be about 3-4 months of once weekly sessions.
Can a therapist be too nice?
Do they smile and nod a lot? Do they always let you lead the session? Have you noticed you invariably leave sessions in a good mood? These could be signs you have a supportive, caring, and empathetic helper—or they may be signs your therapist is too nice. The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It’s a good idea to share as much as possible, because that’s the only way they can help you. After you unpack your feelings, your therapist might provide you with some insight in response or help you deconstruct and synthesize what you just shared. They also might give you a task or something to think about if they think it’s important for your process. Therapists do get frustrated with clients from time to time, but some can handle difficult clients better than others. This may be due to training or inherent personality traits.
What a therapist Cannot do?
All therapists are legally required to maintain confidentiality for their clients. Confidentiality means that a therapist cannot confirm or deny even treating the client if someone asks. Furthermore, they cannot discuss any revealing contact information, such as a client’s name or demographics, outside of the session. Any time when the client poses an imminent danger to themselves or others where breaking therapist confidentiality would be necessary to resolve the danger. Any time when the therapist suspects child, elder, or dependent adult abuse. Client-therapist friendships can be unethical, according to codes of ethics from many bodies that govern therapists, including the American Psychological Association [APA]. By becoming friends with a client, a therapist can risk disciplinary action from governing bodies or losing licensure. Although therapists are not obligated to show concern, care, or love to their clients, you should look for one that does. Find someone who wants to truly understand you, takes consideration of your whole context, and can empathize. A good therapist will clearly communicate practical feedback to help their client make positive changes. The therapist should be able to explain to the client new ways of thinking and assessing situations and relationships. Therapy is much more difficult with coerced, reluctant, or challenging clients. These are typically clients who are not necessarily ready to make a change in their life, but have been forced to do so by the court system, the child welfare system, or their spouse or significant other.
How do you trust a therapist?
You build trust by connecting with your clients and actively listening to their concerns and challenges. It not only allows you to gather the information that is helpful for therapy, but shows that you genuinely desire to understand your client’s views with empathy. In almost all cases, your personal information is held in strict confidence. Only in extreme cases will your therapist need to break confidentiality to keep you or others safe. Overall, therapy is most effective when the client feels safe. But clinicians also learn quite a lot from their clients. “One of the things I value most about working in this profession is the deep privilege and honor of being able to reap great wisdom from my clients,” said therapist Joyce Marter, LCPC. Research shows a generally high job satisfaction among the profession, but everyone can have bad days. Counseling is an emotionally taxing job and sometimes the clients’ problems can hit too close to home. With adequate self-care, however, counselors are happy (and happy to help).