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Is it normal for therapist to talk about themselves?
It’s OK for therapists to talk about themselves a little. Sometimes it helps build a strong therapeutic alliance that increases positive results in therapy. The vast majority of therapy should be about you, though. Looking ahead. Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you’re not alone in thinking you’ve disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you’ve overshared and talk it over with your therapist. You may be surprised to know that what you are experiencing with your therapist isn’t uncommon. In fact, what you are likely experiencing is a phenomenon known as “erotic transference,” which is when a person experiences feelings of love or fantasies of a sexual or sensual nature about his or her therapist. Self-disclosure can be a means of building rapport with clients, which is essential to the counseling relationship. Counselors often choose to disclose about themselves and their lives to aid in the development of trust that is necessary for counseling to be effective.
Is it weird to ask your therapist about themselves?
It’s okay to ask your therapist about their life. Any questions you have in therapy are valid and are likely relevant to the therapeutic process. Whether your therapist answers the question and shares personal information can depend on their individual personality, philosophy, and approach to your treatment. Can I ask My Therapist What He/She Thinks of Me? Yes, you can, and yes you should. This is a reasonable question to ask a therapist, and any good therapist will be happy to answer. Whether your therapist knows you’re attracted to them Therapists know that this happens sometimes, and they’re usually more than willing to address it — if you want to. If you don’t ever wish to bring it up, that’s your right as well. If a therapist talks excessively about themselves or overly discloses personal information, cannot accept constructive criticism, or refuses to discuss what the process will be like and what kind of progress can reasonably be expected, they are likely not the best choice for most clients. So, to answer the question, “Is my therapist attracted to me?”– the context of their actions is crucial. The actions may include a shift in boundaries, such as allowing sessions to go overtime or taking your calls between sessions, or if they appear to seek out opportunities to touch you deliberately. The general idea is that, unconsciously, emotional feelings that you may have had or wished you could have had as a child are transferred from your parents or other caretaker to your therapist. So clients often have feelings for their therapists that are like the ones that children have towards their parents. Like many therapists, Howes also doesn’t reveal much about himself because clients are paying him to work on their issues—and he doesn’t want to waste their time and money talking about his own life. As he said, “You don’t examine your dentist’s teeth, do you? Of course not, the focus is on you and your concerns.”
Why do therapists not tell you about themselves?
Like many therapists, Howes also doesn’t reveal much about himself because clients are paying him to work on their issues—and he doesn’t want to waste their time and money talking about his own life. As he said, “You don’t examine your dentist’s teeth, do you? Of course not, the focus is on you and your concerns.”
Are therapists supposed to talk more than me?
Psychotherapy is not supposed to be like a regular conversation. Over-talking, whether therapists are talking about you or—even worse—themselves, is one of the most common therapeutic blunders. No one can do someone else’s processing. It’s natural and not uncommon to feel close to your therapist and want to be friends with them. However, building a personal relationship with them goes against most mental health counseling codes of ethics. It may also impact your therapeutic process and lessen therapy’s benefits. American Counseling Association. The reality is that many therapists have experienced occasional sexual or romantic feelings toward their clients—but only a small percentage do anything to act on them. Indeed, this is what a recent study of mental health professionals in Belgium, by Vesentini et al., has found. Under no circumstances should your therapist have sex with you — ever. Therapists can have sexual feelings toward clients too, but those thoughts or feelings should never be acted on. Having sex with a client is a major boundary violation, deeply unethical and, in some cases, illegal. If you feel that your therapist made a self-disclosure for reasons other than aiding you in your therapy, the disclosure may have been excessive or inappropriate, and as such may constitute malpractice. To reiterate, any self-disclosure made by your therapist should only be made with your best interests in mind.
Should a therapist tell you about their life?
Unless it involves saving someone’s life, no clinician should share the details of your therapy sessions with anyone. Nor should they share confidential information about other clients with you. It’s not uncommon for therapists to have feelings for clients, and vice versa—call it transference, countertransference, or something else. But we have to remember that it’s the therapist’s job to meet the client’s therapeutic needs and goals, not the therapist’s own personal or professional wants and needs. For example, if the client is anxious about requesting a raise at work, the therapist would share a story about when she requested a raise, or one relevant to the client’s anxiety about asking for a raise. The personal story is a common form of self-disclosure. Therapists don’t feel only love for their clients. Therapists love their clients in various ways, at various times. And yes, I’m sure there are some therapists out there who never love their clients. But, a lot more than we might think or recognise, love is around in the therapy relationship. Client-therapist friendships can be unethical, according to codes of ethics from many bodies that govern therapists, including the American Psychological Association [APA]. By becoming friends with a client, a therapist can risk disciplinary action from governing bodies or losing licensure.
Is it OK to ask therapist how they are?
So go ahead and ask the question, if you want to. However, it’s also important—and okay—not to ask, if you’d rather not or if you’re genuinely not interested or don’t want to bring a personal component into the work. You have every right to protect your own boundaries, not just during this pandemic, but at all times. So go ahead and ask the question, if you want to. However, it’s also important—and okay—not to ask, if you’d rather not or if you’re genuinely not interested or don’t want to bring a personal component into the work. You have every right to protect your own boundaries, not just during this pandemic, but at all times.
Can you ask your therapist about their personal life?
The short answer to the question is: Yes. If you have a question, you should ask. Your questions are valid and likely relevant to the therapeutic process. “It totally makes sense for a person to be asking questions of someone with whom they’re going to be sharing their intimate self.” The short answer to the question is: Yes. If you have a question, you should ask. Your questions are valid and likely relevant to the therapeutic process. It’s okay to ask your therapist about their life. Any questions you have in therapy are valid and are likely relevant to the therapeutic process. Whether your therapist answers the question and shares personal information can depend on their individual personality, philosophy, and approach to your treatment. As a client, you are allowed to ask your therapist just about anything. And, it is possible that the therapist will not or cannot answer the question for a variety of reasons. Some counselors believe strongly in being a blank screen or mirror in therapy. Well-timed, the question can lead to breakthroughs regarding unhelpful patterns, difficult feelings, and negative interpersonal relationships. It can reconnect you with any feelings you may be trying to avoid by overthinking the situation. So, yes, the question may be an attempt to interrupt and go deeper.