Table of Contents
Does your therapist actually care about you?
If you feel genuinely cared for by your therapist, it’s real. It’s too hard to fake that. And the truth is that most therapists (myself and the therapists I refer to) care too much. We do think about you outside of session. The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It’s a good idea to share as much as possible, because that’s the only way they can help you. It’s not uncommon for therapists to have feelings for clients, and vice versa—call it transference, countertransference, or something else. But we have to remember that it’s the therapist’s job to meet the client’s therapeutic needs and goals, not the therapist’s own personal or professional wants and needs. Although therapists might not like to admit it, there are times when you don’t click with particular clients—or worse, you just don’t like them. Perhaps the person is overly critical or negative, or you find your personalities are not a good match. Therapists’ Feelings and Behaviors Toward Clients Most therapists (71 percent) said they, either sometimes or regularly, found a client sexually attractive. Approximately 23 percent had fantasized about being in a romantic relationship and 27 percent about having sexual contact with a patient.
Do therapists pretend to care?
Although there’s nothing wrong with showing concern or compassion, therapists don’t operationalize these aspects to help their clients. In effect, caring can be detrimental to the client-therapist relationship. For example, it may cause attachment, overdependence, or even the development of romantic feelings. We walk a fine line of being on your side but making sure that you are grounded and can maintain proper boundaries. So yes, we as therapists do talk about our clients (clinically) and we do miss our clients because we have entered into this field because we remain hopeful for others. The general idea is that, unconsciously, emotional feelings that you may have had or wished you could have had as a child are transferred from your parents or other caretaker to your therapist. So clients often have feelings for their therapists that are like the ones that children have towards their parents. Can your therapist initiate a hug? A therapist can hug a client if they think it may be productive to the treatment. A therapist initiating a hug in therapy depends on your therapist’s ethics, values, and assessment of whether an individual client feels it will help them.
Do therapists think about me between sessions?
Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session. So, to answer the question, “Is my therapist attracted to me?”– the context of their actions is crucial. The actions may include a shift in boundaries, such as allowing sessions to go overtime or taking your calls between sessions, or if they appear to seek out opportunities to touch you deliberately. Can I ask My Therapist What He/She Thinks of Me? Yes, you can, and yes you should. This is a reasonable question to ask a therapist, and any good therapist will be happy to answer. This leaves both you and your therapist to work through feelings brought up by this ending alone – abrupt endings can cause residual feelings of regret, loss, resentment and rejection for both parties and working through these feelings alone can be incredibly challenging. All therapists are legally required to maintain confidentiality for their clients. Confidentiality means that a therapist cannot confirm or deny even treating the client if someone asks. Furthermore, they cannot discuss any revealing contact information, such as a client’s name or demographics, outside of the session.
Do therapists fall for their patients?
Therapists’ Feelings and Behaviors Toward Clients Most therapists (71 percent) said they, either sometimes or regularly, found a client sexually attractive. Approximately 23 percent had fantasized about being in a romantic relationship and 27 percent about having sexual contact with a patient. Some studies says as many as 10 percent of therapists have had sex with a patient. Others says it’s closer to 2 percent. Even if it’s 1 in 50, that’s disgraceful, Saunders said. Indeed, like therapists, patients may develop sexual or romantic feelings for the person with whom they are working so closely and intimately, sometimes for months or years. So, to answer the question, “Is my therapist attracted to me?”– the context of their actions is crucial. The actions may include a shift in boundaries, such as allowing sessions to go overtime or taking your calls between sessions, or if they appear to seek out opportunities to touch you deliberately. Therapists influenced by the humanistic and more recent recovery movements are more inclined to hug routinely at the end of sessions. Many therapists take a moderate position, offering a pat on the back or an occasional hug if the client asks for it or if a session is particularly grueling. We walk a fine line of being on your side but making sure that you are grounded and can maintain proper boundaries. So yes, we as therapists do talk about our clients (clinically) and we do miss our clients because we have entered into this field because we remain hopeful for others.
Does my therapist think about me between sessions?
Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session. Looking ahead. Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you’re not alone in thinking you’ve disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you’ve overshared and talk it over with your therapist. If a therapist talks excessively about themselves or overly discloses personal information, cannot accept constructive criticism, or refuses to discuss what the process will be like and what kind of progress can reasonably be expected, they are likely not the best choice for most clients. Findings revealed that therapists have strong emotional and behavioral responses to a patient’s dissociation in session, which include anxiety, feelings of aloneness, retreat into one’s own subjectivity and alternating patterns of hyperarousal and mutual dissociation. Although therapists are not obligated to show concern, care, or love to their clients, you should look for one that does. Find someone who wants to truly understand you, takes consideration of your whole context, and can empathize. Therapy can last anywhere from one session to several months or even years. It all depends on what you want and need. Some people come to therapy with a very specific problem they need to solve and might find that one or two sessions is sufficient.
Should you socialize with your therapist?
It’s natural and not uncommon to feel close to your therapist and want to be friends with them. However, building a personal relationship with them goes against most mental health counseling codes of ethics. It may also impact your therapeutic process and lessen therapy’s benefits. American Counseling Association. While not common, a friendship can develop when you’ve finished therapy. There are no official rules or ethical guidelines from either the American Psychological Associated or American Psychiatric Association regarding friendships with former clients. Client-therapist friendships can be unethical, according to codes of ethics from many bodies that govern therapists, including the American Psychological Association [APA]. By becoming friends with a client, a therapist can risk disciplinary action from governing bodies or losing licensure. Standard A. 6. e., Nonprofessional Interactions or Relationships (Other Than Sexual or Romantic Interactions or Relationships) of the ACA Code of Ethics states: “Counselors avoid entering into nonprofessional relationships with former clients … when the interaction is potentially harmful to the client. What can I tell my therapist? The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It’s a good idea to share as much as possible, because that’s the only way they can help you. Under no circumstances should a gift be expected or rewarded. Any licensed mental health professional should be keenly aware of potential ethical entanglements involved in gifting, and it is up to the therapist to determine whether gifting a person in therapy may risk or promote therapeutic growth.
How do you know if your therapist likes you?
When your therapist is staying engaged by offering eye contact, head nods, leaning in, or any other gestures that make you feel more comfortable, it is a really good sign that you have their full attention (as you should). After you unpack your feelings, your therapist might provide you with some insight in response or help you deconstruct and synthesize what you just shared. They also might give you a task or something to think about if they think it’s important for your process. Some of the things psychologists look for are your posture, hands, eye contact, facial expressions, and the position of your arms and legs. Your posture says a lot about your comfort level. It makes sense, then, that patients who don’t feel felt might cut things off. The reverse, however, is also true: Sometimes therapists break up with their patients. You may not consider this when you first step into a therapist’s office, but our goal is to stop seeing you. The last thing you want during your therapy sessions is to worry that your therapist is bored, not paying attention, or tired of you. If you’re leaving therapy feeling disappointed, you’re tense during your sessions, or your therapist keeps yawning, this may indicate that your therapist is tired of you.