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Why therapists avoid using the word toxic?
Labels like “toxic” are emotional shortcuts When you feel anxious around another person, your brain will begin to take emotional shortcuts that usually involve fighting, fleeing, or complaining to others. A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Many times, people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. To do this, they act in ways that don’t present them in the best light and usually upset others along the way. You’re a toxic friend if you try to distance your friend from others, such as their partner, and if you try to control everything. You might control how you see each other, when you do, what they’re permitted to do. You’re a toxic friend if you emotionally manipulate them. Toxic femininity refers to the adherence to the gender binary in order to receive conditional value in patriarchal societies. It is a concept that restricts women to being cooperative, passive, sexually submissive, gentle, and deriving their value from physical beauty while being pleasing to men. That’s very true… BUT when you recognize a toxic (narcissistic) person, it is what it is!
Can therapists be toxic?
A toxic therapist is one who will discourage you from consulting other perspectives, getting a second opinion, or getting support from anyone else but him or her. This enables the narcissistic therapist to wield complete and utter power over every facet of your life as you become increasingly dependent on them. Bad therapy can even be destructive, either re-traumatizing you or causing new psychological harm. The bad news is that something as well-intentioned as going to therapy can backfire. The good news is that you can learn how to recognize when something isn’t right. You may even develop feelings for them or see them as a friend. This is a natural part of the process. But a solid connection with your psychotherapist isn’t the same as having a friendship with them. Understanding and respecting this boundary can help you continue meeting your therapy goals. While it is fine to look your therapist up online, sometimes doing so can cause discomfort or even distress and if you find you are experiencing negative effects, I think it is especially important to discuss that with your therapist, and to consider whether the it is unhelpful to your process.