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Why do I love my therapist so much?
Many times, it’s a sign that therapy is working. Historically, the fathers of psychology viewed “love” between a therapist and client as a form of transference or countertransference. Both of these labels imply that the felt experience of love is displaced, unreal, or not valid. Indeed, like therapists, patients may develop sexual or romantic feelings for the person with whom they are working so closely and intimately, sometimes for months or years. If you trust people easily, you may become attached to your therapist easily. Regardless, it’s natural in any intimate relationship that you’d grow some sort of attachment. The therapy relationship is not different. Instead, it is actually a reflection of other relationships in your life. Therapists influenced by the humanistic and more recent recovery movements are more inclined to hug routinely at the end of sessions. Many therapists take a moderate position, offering a pat on the back or an occasional hug if the client asks for it or if a session is particularly grueling. Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session.
Why do I think about my therapist all the time?
An interesting aspect of therapy is an experience called “transference.” Transference means that the feelings you have for someone important in your life are unconsciously transferred to another person—in this case the therapist. We all have feelings like that; it’s quite normal. It’s not uncommon for therapists to have feelings for clients, and vice versa—call it transference, countertransference, or something else. But we have to remember that it’s the therapist’s job to meet the client’s therapeutic needs and goals, not the therapist’s own personal or professional wants and needs. What Is Transference? Transference occurs when a client unconsciously projects feelings about someone else onto a therapist. These emotions can be positive, negative, or sexualized. When it comes to a therapist who you paid to listen to you, though, it may feel more complicated. But missing your former therapist is completely normal, experts say. Looking ahead. Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you’re not alone in thinking you’ve disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you’ve overshared and talk it over with your therapist.
Why do I feel so attached to my therapist?
The general idea is that, unconsciously, emotional feelings that you may have had or wished you could have had as a child are transferred from your parents or other caretaker to your therapist. So clients often have feelings for their therapists that are like the ones that children have towards their parents. Therapists are people just like you Most therapists entered the mental health field because they had to work on themselves or they experienced a life-changing event in the past. Therefore, they may be drawn to clients who can relate to their circumstances. If you’ve felt attracted to your therapist or even wanted to have sex with them, it’s a normal part of the therapy process for some people. When you’re on the job, the stakes are always high. The decisions you make as a therapist will affect people in different ways. That pressure of changing someone’s life for the better can really wear you down as an individual. You can often be drained both physically and mentally.
Why do I find my therapist attractive?
You may be surprised to know that what you are experiencing with your therapist isn’t uncommon. In fact, what you are likely experiencing is a phenomenon known as “erotic transference,” which is when a person experiences feelings of love or fantasies of a sexual or sensual nature about his or her therapist. If you’re falling in love with your therapist, try not to panic. This is a common experience called transference. Discovering and healing the root of why you’re experiencing transference can help you achieve healthier relationships, including the one you have with your therapist. Most therapists (71 percent) said they, either sometimes or regularly, found a client sexually attractive. Approximately 23 percent had fantasized about being in a romantic relationship and 27 percent about having sexual contact with a patient. Can I ask My Therapist What He/She Thinks of Me? Yes, you can, and yes you should. This is a reasonable question to ask a therapist, and any good therapist will be happy to answer.
Should I tell my therapist I love him?
Can I say “I love you” to my therapist? Yes, you could say that. But the most you can expect in response is, “Thank you” or a kind smile. Your therapist may care deeply about you and genuinely be there for you but it is a professional relationship designed to help you. Be completely honest and transparent. If you start developing feelings for your therapist, tell him or her about it. “Be honest with yourself and with your therapist,” Scharf says. “Your therapist could talk those feelings through with you, what they mean and how to manage them. A therapist can hug a client if they think it may be productive to the treatment. A therapist initiating a hug in therapy depends on your therapist’s ethics, values, and assessment of whether an individual client feels it will help them. When your therapist is staying engaged by offering eye contact, head nods, leaning in, or any other gestures that make you feel more comfortable, it is a really good sign that you have their full attention (as you should). Can your therapist initiate a hug? A therapist can hug a client if they think it may be productive to the treatment. A therapist initiating a hug in therapy depends on your therapist’s ethics, values, and assessment of whether an individual client feels it will help them. Yes. We care. If you feel genuinely cared for by your therapist, it’s real. It’s too hard to fake that.
How do I know if Im too attached to my therapist?
If your therapist is the first person you want to talk to about it and you hesitate to take action before talking to her, you may have become too dependent. If you feel like you cannot live your life without your therapist’s involvement, you may have an unhealthy attachment. It’s easy to feel like you need to talk about “deep” or “serious” issues in therapy But remember, there’s no “correct” topic to discuss in therapy. You can talk about whatever you want. True, some people come to therapy to address something specific, like anxiety or depression. Discussing the facts of a situation without delving into your related emotions. Asking for prescription medication without being willing to put in the work in therapy. Believing your therapist can and will “cure” you. Talking about every detail of your day to avoid discussing uncomfortable topics. The therapist should state clearly that there will be no sexual contact and to be clear about the process and type of touch that will be used. Extensive use of touch, as utilized in some forms of body psychotherapy, is likely to require a written consent.