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Is therapy awkward at first?
Starting therapy can be especially awkward if you’ve not been in therapy before. If you feel weird at first when you’re talking to your therapist, don’t worry. It takes a while to get used to therapy, but you’ll eventually get the hang of it. You will get the most out of therapy if you are open and honest with your therapist about your feelings. If you feel embarrassed or ashamed, or something is too painful to talk about, don’t be afraid to tell your therapist. Slowly, you can work together to get at the issues. Can I ask My Therapist What He/She Thinks of Me? Yes, you can, and yes you should. This is a reasonable question to ask a therapist, and any good therapist will be happy to answer. Here may be some reasons for your apprehension: You were in counseling in the past and had an unpleasant therapy experience. For example, perhaps you were forced to go to counseling as a child or teen by your parents. Or, maybe you went to therapy on your own in the past, but didn’t find it helpful. This mixed-method survey study explored therapists’ experiences with and attitude toward TCIT. Six hundred eighty-four U.S. psychologists and trainees filled out the survey online, revealing that 72% of therapists report having cried in therapy in their role as therapist.
Is it normal to feel awkward in therapy?
Awkward. I assure you, this is a common problem. As in, it’s a problem therapists encounter every day. Clients are truly seeking help and want to engage, but somehow they hit a brick wall. Reasons you might have nothing to say in therapy It could mean a lot of things. Having nothing to say doesn’t mean that your problems have gone for good. Sometimes you’ve been working hard through some issues, and your brain needs a break. So it’s kind of like the feeling when a computer shuts down for a little while. What can I tell my therapist? The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It’s a good idea to share as much as possible, because that’s the only way they can help you. At the beginning, the therapist asks questions about your problems. They also ask about other things in your life, such as family, school, and health. They listen to what it’s like for you so they can understand you. They talk with you and with your parent — sometimes together, sometimes separately. After you unpack your feelings, your therapist might provide you with some insight in response or help you deconstruct and synthesize what you just shared. They also might give you a task or something to think about if they think it’s important for your process.
Is it awkward to talk to a therapist?
If your first few sessions feel awkward, you’re not alone. Starting therapy can be especially awkward if you’ve not been in therapy before. If you feel weird at first when you’re talking to your therapist, don’t worry. It takes a while to get used to therapy, but you’ll eventually get the hang of it. Your first session will probably involve your therapist asking you a lot of questions about you, how you cope, and your symptoms (it’s basically an interview). You may also chat about goals for therapy, expectations, and more. The first therapy session is the hardest—not because the session itself is grueling, but simply because trying new and foreign things can cause some butterflies in your stomach. For some people, that intimidation may cause them to procrastinate booking that appointment. The basic rule of thumb is that therapists should not be getting their own needs met by self-disclosing to clients. Even in peer counseling programs such as AA, the leaders are usually those who no longer need to talk about their own struggles in every meeting. Recent difficulties are best avoided. Another reason we fear therapy is because we fear judgment. Rationally we might know a therapist is supposed to be unbiased, objective and nonjudgmental, but our fear can be so pervasive that we fear the worst and assume our therapist might judge us for our past mistakes, our shortcomings, wrongdoings and flaws. If you’re leaving therapy feeling disappointed, you’re tense during your sessions, or your therapist keeps yawning, this may indicate that your therapist is tired of you. Or, there may be more than meets the eye.
Can therapy make you worse at first?
Feeling worse after starting therapy is absolutely normal. It’s just something not enough of us admit to. It actually means therapy is working. The therapist will ask questions about your presenting concerns, as well as your history and background. Most likely, you’ll find yourself talking about your current symptoms or struggles, as well saying a bit about your relationships, your interests, your strengths, and your goals. Therapy is much more difficult with coerced, reluctant, or challenging clients. These are typically clients who are not necessarily ready to make a change in their life, but have been forced to do so by the court system, the child welfare system, or their spouse or significant other. When working with a therapist, one of the first things they will pick up on is your body language. People use their bodies to tell stories, and when there are inconsistencies in their stories or if they are not truthful, body language is a good way to pick up on those cues. Perhaps the most important is how long a person expects the therapy to last. If a client comes in the door expecting long-term therapy, single-session therapy can’t work, said Dr. Moshe Talmon, a psychologist at the Kaiser Permanente Medical Center in Hayward, Calif., a leading advocate of the approach.
Do I talk too much in therapy?
Psychotherapy is not supposed to be like a regular conversation. Over-talking, whether therapists are talking about you or—even worse—themselves, is one of the most common therapeutic blunders. It’s easy to feel like you need to talk about “deep” or “serious” issues in therapy But remember, there’s no “correct” topic to discuss in therapy. You can talk about whatever you want. True, some people come to therapy to address something specific, like anxiety or depression. You have specific rights when disclosing your diagnosis as a client receiving therapy. For example, it’s your right to ask your therapist to tell you if they believe you have a mental health condition. If you want a diagnosis, you can ask your therapist upfront. Most therapists will not judge you, says Peter Cellarius, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Gatos, California. If they do — after all, they’re human — a good therapist will not let feelings of judgment get in the way of helping you.
What does good therapy feel like?
A good therapist signals that they’re not only taking in your words, but also understanding them. Feeling like your therapist is distracted when you speak — by the time on the clock, their grocery list, or something else — is a sign that maybe it’s time to see someone new. Although therapists are not obligated to show concern, care, or love to their clients, you should look for one that does. Find someone who wants to truly understand you, takes consideration of your whole context, and can empathize. In the end, there isn’t a huge need to ask your therapist if they like you—especially if you’re making progress in therapy. Because you wouldn’t be making progress if there wasn’t some sort of positive connection between you. But it’s actually a good thing to ask them. Many therapists also choose to take as few notes as possible out of concern that people may be a little anxious about the notes (especially with patients exhibiting signs of paranoia or intense anxiety). Others also think the note-taking process itself can influence the patient too much.