Table of Contents
Do therapists feel burdened?
Therapists are trained to hear about difficult, even traumatic experiences. It’s a big part of their job. However, this does not make them immune to feeling the impact. In fact, therapists are at higher risk of work-related stress and burnout. We walk a fine line of being on your side but making sure that you are grounded and can maintain proper boundaries. So yes, we as therapists do talk about our clients (clinically) and we do miss our clients because we have entered into this field because we remain hopeful for others. Clients often wonder if their therapists think about them outside of session. The short answer is, yes. When we see something that may benefit you, we make a mental note of it to share with you later. This can literally be anything. Knowing that you can say anything to your therapist and it will remain in the room helps you feel safe and builds trust between you and the therapist. For this reason, all therapists are legally and ethically bound to keep their sessions confidential and not share with anyone else what was talked about.
Do therapists genuinely care?
Yes. We care. If you feel genuinely cared for by your therapist, it’s real. It’s too hard to fake that. What can I tell my therapist? The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It’s a good idea to share as much as possible, because that’s the only way they can help you. Yes, definitely. Sometimes in a healthy and helpful way, and sometimes in an overabundant, unhealthy way. For example, sometimes a therapist will think about a client who is attending a loved one’s funeral. They make a note of it to ask later how the client is feeling when it’s their next appointment. You also know therapy is working if you’re using the skills you learned in session, outside of session. For example, are you better able to set boundaries with others, prioritize your own needs and demands, and effectively deal with situations without spiraling into a panic attack? These are great signs of progress.
Do therapists feel connected to clients?
According to new research, 72 percent of therapists surveyed felt friendship toward their clients. 70 percent of therapists had felt sexually attracted to a client at some point; 25 percent fantasized about having a romantic relationship. The average number of clients per therapist varies. Seeing more than six psychotherapy clients a day (in my mind) is a recipe for therapist burnout. Client-therapist friendships can be unethical, according to codes of ethics from many bodies that govern therapists, including the American Psychological Association [APA]. By becoming friends with a client, a therapist can risk disciplinary action from governing bodies or losing licensure. Depending on which study you read, between 20 and 57% of therapy clients do not return after their initial session. Another 37 to 45% only attend therapy a total of two times. Although many factors contribute to premature client termination, the number one cited reason by clients is dissatisfaction with the therapist. Anywhere from 50 to 75 percent of people who go to therapy report some benefit—but at least 5 percent of clients get worse as a result of treatment. (For people from marginalized groups, harmful outcomes may be even more common.) Findings revealed that therapists have strong emotional and behavioral responses to a patient’s dissociation in session, which include anxiety, feelings of aloneness, retreat into one’s own subjectivity and alternating patterns of hyperarousal and mutual dissociation.
Do therapists ever judge you?
Some therapists do judge clients for what they tell them in therapy, or dismiss their concerns or emotional responses, and that’s a reason many people hold back in baring their souls in psychotherapy. Some therapists don’t listen when that’s their primary responsibility. Therapy is much more difficult with coerced, reluctant, or challenging clients. These are typically clients who are not necessarily ready to make a change in their life, but have been forced to do so by the court system, the child welfare system, or their spouse or significant other. Research has shown that effective counselors fit one specific personality type: Introvertive, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging (INFJ). This research concluded that counselors tend to be quiet and reserved and enjoy learning through observation. However, termination can be a deeply moving phase of therapy not just for clients, but also for clinicians. Viewed through the lens of attachment, counselors might expect to experience feelings of sadness and loss intermingled with feelings of hope and accomplishment during the termination phase.
Do therapists ever get annoyed with clients?
But in reality, all counselors experience discomfort with and dislike of a client at some point in their careers, says Keith Myers, an LPC and ACA member in the Atlanta metro area. “If someone tells you that it does not [happen], they’re not being honest with themselves,” he says. We walk a fine line of being on your side but making sure that you are grounded and can maintain proper boundaries. So yes, we as therapists do talk about our clients (clinically) and we do miss our clients because we have entered into this field because we remain hopeful for others. Although many factors contribute to premature client termination, the number one cited reason by clients is dissatisfaction with the therapist. Standard A. 6. e., Nonprofessional Interactions or Relationships (Other Than Sexual or Romantic Interactions or Relationships) of the ACA Code of Ethics states: “Counselors avoid entering into nonprofessional relationships with former clients … when the interaction is potentially harmful to the client. Psychotherapy is not supposed to be like a regular conversation. Over-talking, whether therapists are talking about you or—even worse—themselves, is one of the most common therapeutic blunders. Therapy is much more difficult with coerced, reluctant, or challenging clients. These are typically clients who are not necessarily ready to make a change in their life, but have been forced to do so by the court system, the child welfare system, or their spouse or significant other.
Do therapists care about some clients more than others?
Some therapists establish stronger bonds and connections with particular clients than others. For example, a therapist may be drawn to people with complex trauma histories and enjoy working with them. Others, on the other hand, may relate more to the circumstances of some clients than others. A therapist can hug a client if they think it may be productive to the treatment. A therapist initiating a hug in therapy depends on your therapist’s ethics, values, and assessment of whether an individual client feels it will help them. When a client who is usually verbal begins to fall silent while talking about something difficult, corresponding silence by the therapist is often helpful and supportive. It may convey attention and interest, as well as the therapist’s commitment to not interfere with the client’s need to process what is going on. According to new research, 72 percent of therapists surveyed felt friendship toward their clients. 70 percent of therapists had felt sexually attracted to a client at some point; 25 percent fantasized about having a romantic relationship. Can I text my therapist between sessions? Many therapists use texting to schedule sessions with clients. But beyond that, professionals are divided as to whether it’s a good idea to text clients between sessions about issues that are bridged in therapy itself. Looking ahead. Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you’re not alone in thinking you’ve disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you’ve overshared and talk it over with your therapist.
Do therapists ever worry about their clients?
Although therapists are not obligated to show concern, care, or love to their clients, you should look for one that does. Find someone who wants to truly understand you, takes consideration of your whole context, and can empathize. Can I ask My Therapist What He/She Thinks of Me? Yes, you can, and yes you should. This is a reasonable question to ask a therapist, and any good therapist will be happy to answer. Yes. We care. If you feel genuinely cared for by your therapist, it’s real. It’s too hard to fake that. They see their job as helping you find your own answers, and they know that silence can help you do that. Sitting in silence allows a lot of things to rise up inside you—thoughts, feelings, and memories you might not normally experience. And that is what your therapist is hoping you’ll talk about.
Do therapists get sad when clients leave?
I myself have often felt sad, even grief, when a long-term client has terminated, and a longing to know what has happened to them later on. I occasionally will receive a phone call, email or letter after they have terminated, letting me know how they are doing, and I always feel grateful to them for the communication. However, termination can be a deeply moving phase of therapy not just for clients, but also for clinicians. Viewed through the lens of attachment, counselors might expect to experience feelings of sadness and loss intermingled with feelings of hope and accomplishment during the termination phase. This leaves both you and your therapist to work through feelings brought up by this ending alone – abrupt endings can cause residual feelings of regret, loss, resentment and rejection for both parties and working through these feelings alone can be incredibly challenging. Planned client termination may be one of the hardest aspects of clinical work. Although planned termination is often a great opportunity for both the client and therapist to gain additional insights, it can lead to a variety of thoughts and emotions that can be unpleasant for all involved. We walk a fine line of being on your side but making sure that you are grounded and can maintain proper boundaries. So yes, we as therapists do talk about our clients (clinically) and we do miss our clients because we have entered into this field because we remain hopeful for others. We can notice if a client may be dissociated if we look out for the following cues: If the client feels in a fog. The client consistently asks therapist to repeat the questions. The client feels as though they are a long way away.