Table of Contents
Why is it hard to be honest with therapist?
Though they may know everything about you, you may not know anything about them — even small things, like if they’re a dog or cat person, or what they do for fun. Naturally, this can make it difficult to trust a therapist. In addition, there may be some fears about how your therapist will respond to what you share. There are a few things that might contribute to this: you may not have developed the level of trust you need to feel safe with the therapist you are working with, you may be fearful of being judged by the therapist, or maybe you are afraid that opening the pain of the past might be too much to handle. Although therapists are not obligated to show concern, care, or love to their clients, you should look for one that does. Find someone who wants to truly understand you, takes consideration of your whole context, and can empathize. Why you should tell the truth. If clients don’t let therapists know that something isn’t working—that the therapist is too talkative, perhaps, or that they don’t feel supported—therapy will stall, you’ll get resentful, or you’ll decide it isn’t working and quit. A good therapist will welcome your feedback. Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session. Most therapists will not judge you, says Peter Cellarius, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Gatos, California. If they do — after all, they’re human — a good therapist will not let feelings of judgment get in the way of helping you.
Are people honest with their therapist?
Surveys show most patients aren’t honest with their therapists. It’s not unusual for patients in my therapy office to lie to me. Sometimes, they lie because they’re embarrassed. At other times, they’re afraid they’re somehow going to get into trouble if they tell me the truth. Knowing that you can say anything to your therapist and it will remain in the room helps you feel safe and builds trust between you and the therapist. For this reason, all therapists are legally and ethically bound to keep their sessions confidential and not share with anyone else what was talked about. Therapists may take patients’ nonverbal signs of distress as a cue to change topics, but this may be at the peril of the treatment. Therapists must monitor their own body language so as not to convey discomfort or disinterest, which may keep patients from sharing. There are a few situations that may require a therapist to break confidentiality: If the client may be an immediate danger to themself or another. If the client is endangering another who cannot protect themself, as in the case of a child, a person with a disability, or elder abuse. Short answer: yes. A new study published on January 15 in the Journal of Clinical Psychology finds that 86% of the therapists interviewed by the study’s authors say they sometimes do look up their patients on the Internet. They see their job as helping you find your own answers, and they know that silence can help you do that. Sitting in silence allows a lot of things to rise up inside you—thoughts, feelings, and memories you might not normally experience. And that is what your therapist is hoping you’ll talk about.
Should you be completely honest with a therapist?
Therapists & counsellors expect trust in the sense that both parties understand and are committed to spend every session building it. The most critical component of trust is honesty, so consider being upfront about the fact that you do not trust a therapist 100% with certain information to be good practice at honesty. Tell your therapist what you’re feeling, even if it makes you feel vulnerable. Talk about what has helped you feel connected, and what hasn’t. Be as clear as you can about when you’ve felt the alliance strengthen, and even when you’ve felt misunderstood. Psychotherapy is, for the most part, confidential. Patients of mental health providers like psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers reasonably expect that their in-therapy disclosures will remain private. A look can communicate so many things: compassion, caring, warmth. Your therapist’s hope is that if you meet their eyes, you’ll feel their positive regard for you. They want you to know you’re with someone who cares. They want you to know that how you feel and what you say matter to them.
How honest should I be with my therapist?
No matter what happens in the “real world” when you disclose certain information, it’s going to be different in a therapist’s office. Your therapist has likely heard it all, and the more honest you are about what you’re going through, the better they’ll be able to support you. You have specific rights when disclosing your diagnosis as a client receiving therapy. For example, it’s your right to ask your therapist to tell you if they believe you have a mental health condition. If you want a diagnosis, you can ask your therapist upfront. The following situations typically legally obligate therapists to break confidentiality and seek outside assistance: Detailed planning of future suicide attempts. Other concrete signs of suicidal intent. Planned violence towards others. Yes. We care. If you feel genuinely cared for by your therapist, it’s real. It’s too hard to fake that. Psychologists must gain permission by the client to record any part of the session. Psychologists should only write what is necessary on reports to minimize intrusions into privacy. Psychologists may disclose confidential information with the client’s permission or as mandated by law. Having nothing to talk about isn’t a sign that there’s something wrong with therapy; it’s an opportunity to peek under some unturned stones. This is part and parcel to the way therapy is structured. Therapy sessions are typically scheduled on a weekly, rather than “as needed”, basis.
Why can’t I tell my therapist the truth?
Someone might worry that a therapist will judge them if they acknowledge a mistake they made. Or they might fear the therapist will think they’re a bad person or “crazy” for telling a story about how they lost their temper. Some things that suggest that your therapist may be less than helpful are the following: You complain about not being able to make any significant progress and your therapist tells you that you have to process the problem emotionally before you can expect any changes. They point to a theme I often hear from therapists: We want clients to be as invested in the process as we are. We like it when they’re motivated to work in and out of the session, ready to try new things and willing to look deep inside. When these ideal elements are in place, therapy tends to progress nicely. Research asking patients what they think about their therapists’ tears is scant. In a 2015 study in Psychotherapy, researchers Ashley Tritt, MD, Jonathan Kelly, and Glenn Waller, PhD, surveyed 188 patients with eating disorders and found that about 57 percent had experienced their therapists crying.
Should you tell your therapist the truth?
Why you should tell the truth. If clients don’t let therapists know that something isn’t working—that the therapist is too talkative, perhaps, or that they don’t feel supported—therapy will stall, you’ll get resentful, or you’ll decide it isn’t working and quit. A good therapist will welcome your feedback. Our clients might be letting us know finally how they have felt, being left in their lives—frustrated, discounted, ignored, worthless, abandoned or powerless, perhaps—which is often how therapists feel when clients leave without warning or discussion. They give it to us good over the psychic airwaves. Stopping therapy may be an option if you feel you have achieved all the goals you set and you’ve developed the skills to move on. You’ve learned how to manage your symptoms or have found a way to move through a challenge. Try starting by talking to your therapist and giving it some time to see how things change (or don’t change). If you don’t feel better about the relationship after a while, that might be the time to find another therapist to work with.
Can you tell your therapist too much?
The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It’s a good idea to share as much as possible, because that’s the only way they can help you. Other things to avoid during a therapy session include: asking about other confidential conversations with other clients; showcasing violent emotions; or implying any romantic or sexual interest in your therapist. The number one job of a therapist is to keep you safe and protect their clients’ privacy. Biweekly Sessions Often you’re only able to discuss one area or thing that happened to you. Therapy twice a week on the other hand allows you to go much deeper. We recommend this option for people who want to take the skills they’ve learned in therapy and apply them to their life in a more practical way. Individuals fear judgment, change, the unknown, and what they might discover in therapy; additionally, they’re too prideful to admit they need help. Additionally, some people doubt the efficacy of mental health treatment: They’re uncertain it will work or misunderstand how it works.