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Can I talk to my therapist about anything?
Knowing that you can say anything to your therapist and it will remain in the room helps you feel safe and builds trust between you and the therapist. For this reason, all therapists are legally and ethically bound to keep their sessions confidential and not share with anyone else what was talked about. Turns out it’s pretty easy to find resources and articles that say no, it’s not recommended. The reasons given (often by therapists) include splitting, conflicting treatment plans, creating secrets (especially if they aren’t aware of each other or aren’t in communication). Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session. Therapists & counsellors expect trust in the sense that both parties understand and are committed to spend every session building it. The most critical component of trust is honesty, so consider being upfront about the fact that you do not trust a therapist 100% with certain information to be good practice at honesty. We walk a fine line of being on your side but making sure that you are grounded and can maintain proper boundaries. So yes, we as therapists do talk about our clients (clinically) and we do miss our clients because we have entered into this field because we remain hopeful for others.
Do I talk too much in therapy?
Psychotherapy is not supposed to be like a regular conversation. Over-talking, whether therapists are talking about you or—even worse—themselves, is one of the most common therapeutic blunders. They see their job as helping you find your own answers, and they know that silence can help you do that. Sitting in silence allows a lot of things to rise up inside you—thoughts, feelings, and memories you might not normally experience. And that is what your therapist is hoping you’ll talk about. The therapist will ask questions about your presenting concerns, as well as your history and background. Most likely, you’ll find yourself talking about your current symptoms or struggles, as well saying a bit about your relationships, your interests, your strengths, and your goals. There are a few things that might contribute to this: you may not have developed the level of trust you need to feel safe with the therapist you are working with, you may be fearful of being judged by the therapist, or maybe you are afraid that opening the pain of the past might be too much to handle. Whether or not you’ve personally witnessed a therapist cry, it’s a fairly common occurrence. In a 2013 study, almost three-quarters of psychologists admitted they’ve shed tears during a session. Some patients might appreciate the display of compassion. A look can communicate so many things: compassion, caring, warmth. Your therapist’s hope is that if you meet their eyes, you’ll feel their positive regard for you. They want you to know you’re with someone who cares. They want you to know that how you feel and what you say matter to them.
Can you tell your therapist good things?
What can I tell my therapist? The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It’s a good idea to share as much as possible, because that’s the only way they can help you. Why you should tell the truth. If clients don’t let therapists know that something isn’t working—that the therapist is too talkative, perhaps, or that they don’t feel supported—therapy will stall, you’ll get resentful, or you’ll decide it isn’t working and quit. A good therapist will welcome your feedback. Psychotherapy is, for the most part, confidential. Patients of mental health providers like psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers reasonably expect that their in-therapy disclosures will remain private. Past Crimes In most cases, discussing a past crime is protected by confidentiality rules. This means that you should be able to discuss a crime you committed with your therapist, and your therapist is sworn to secrecy. The following situations typically legally obligate therapists to break confidentiality and seek outside assistance: Detailed planning of future suicide attempts. Other concrete signs of suicidal intent. Planned violence towards others.
Is it OK to not tell your therapist everything?
Therapy is truly your safe space. Sometimes, you’ll need to guard that space from others. Well-meaning friends and family may ask what you’re talking about in therapy. Don’t feel obligated to divulge what happens in your therapy sessions, though. At the beginning of a session, the therapist typically invites you to share what’s been going on in your life, what’s on your mind, what’s bothering you, or whether there are any goals you’d like to discuss. You’ll be invited to speak openly. Your first session will probably involve your therapist asking you a lot of questions about you, how you cope, and your symptoms (it’s basically an interview). You may also chat about goals for therapy, expectations, and more. Therapy can last anywhere from one session to several months or even years. It all depends on what you want and need. Some people come to therapy with a very specific problem they need to solve and might find that one or two sessions is sufficient. Although there’s nothing wrong with showing concern or compassion, therapists don’t operationalize these aspects to help their clients. In effect, caring can be detrimental to the client-therapist relationship. For example, it may cause attachment, overdependence, or even the development of romantic feelings. Therapy is much more difficult with coerced, reluctant, or challenging clients. These are typically clients who are not necessarily ready to make a change in their life, but have been forced to do so by the court system, the child welfare system, or their spouse or significant other.
Is it OK to ask your therapist what they think of you?
Can I ask My Therapist What He/She Thinks of Me? Yes, you can, and yes you should. This is a reasonable question to ask a therapist, and any good therapist will be happy to answer. It’s just a hug when they need one. It’s not weird to ask. It’s okay… even human… to ask. Whether or not your therapist is comfortable with it is not even your concern. While it is fine to look your therapist up online, sometimes doing so can cause discomfort or even distress and if you find you are experiencing negative effects, I think it is especially important to discuss that with your therapist, and to consider whether the it is unhelpful to your process. You may be surprised to know that what you are experiencing with your therapist isn’t uncommon. In fact, what you are likely experiencing is a phenomenon known as “erotic transference,” which is when a person experiences feelings of love or fantasies of a sexual or sensual nature about his or her therapist. Looking ahead. Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you’re not alone in thinking you’ve disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you’ve overshared and talk it over with your therapist. Don’t Tell Lies Or Half-Truths That can make it feel even harder when speaking with a mental health professional you’ve just met. If your therapist asks about something that’s difficult for you to discuss, you may resist telling the truth or fail to offer up the details of the situation.
Is it OK to ask your therapist how they are?
It’s okay to ask your therapist about their life. Any questions you have in therapy are valid and are likely relevant to the therapeutic process. Whether your therapist answers the question and shares personal information can depend on their individual personality, philosophy, and approach to your treatment. Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session. There are a few situations that may require a therapist to break confidentiality: If the client may be an immediate danger to themself or another. If the client is endangering another who cannot protect themself, as in the case of a child, a person with a disability, or elder abuse. First and foremost, there’s nothing wrong with switching therapists if the care provider you’re seeing isn’t a good fit. For multiple reasons — whether it be the therapist needs to step away or it’s the patient’s choice — thousands of people change therapists every year. “It’s totally okay to switch to a new therapist. The following situations typically legally obligate therapists to break confidentiality and seek outside assistance: Detailed planning of future suicide attempts. Other concrete signs of suicidal intent. Planned violence towards others.
Can therapists tell you about their life?
Can Therapists Ever Self-Disclose? Yes. Therapist self-disclosure can be a powerful therapeutic tool, but self-disclosure is most definitely an advanced therapeutic skill. Good training programs teach therapists about the timing and the technique for self-disclosure. Going to therapy is no easy feat. It takes courage to be willing to share your deepest feelings with a mental health professional. In therapy, it is completely normal to experience fears of judgment or hesitation to share intimate details of your life. Sometimes people hide things because they worry that they won’t be believed (they may not have been in the past). And sometimes people hide things to avoid not just the therapist, but themselves—to avoid confronting their shame or pain, or the truth they know they need to tell. Therapy notes are private, so you don’t have to show them to your client, according to federal law. You can choose to share them, if a client asks, but many states allow you to make this decision yourself.