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What should I be talking about with my therapist?
It could be anything on your mind – there is no right or wrong, or anything you could say that a therapist would ever judge you for. Talk with your talk therapist about your relationships, school, or work. Talk to them about a problem you are going through and ask them how to deal with it. Looking ahead. Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you’re not alone in thinking you’ve disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you’ve overshared and talk it over with your therapist. Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session. Googling a therapist can raise feelings of guilt for some clients, and I think that it is useful in therapy to discuss the relationship as openly as you feel able. I would suggest that having a conversation with your therapist around your internet search could be a great opportunity for good work in therapy.
What does my therapist want to hear?
It’s easy to feel like you need to talk about “deep” or “serious” issues in therapy But remember, there’s no “correct” topic to discuss in therapy. You can talk about whatever you want. True, some people come to therapy to address something specific, like anxiety or depression. The therapist will ask questions about your presenting concerns, as well as your history and background. Most likely, you’ll find yourself talking about your current symptoms or struggles, as well saying a bit about your relationships, your interests, your strengths, and your goals. It’s okay to ask your therapist about their life. Any questions you have in therapy are valid and are likely relevant to the therapeutic process. Whether your therapist answers the question and shares personal information can depend on their individual personality, philosophy, and approach to your treatment. Psychotherapy is, for the most part, confidential. Patients of mental health providers like psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers reasonably expect that their in-therapy disclosures will remain private. Turns out it’s pretty easy to find resources and articles that say no, it’s not recommended. The reasons given (often by therapists) include splitting, conflicting treatment plans, creating secrets (especially if they aren’t aware of each other or aren’t in communication). For this reason, all therapists are legally and ethically bound to keep their sessions confidential and not share with anyone else what was talked about.
What does a therapist want to hear?
It’s easy to feel like you need to talk about “deep” or “serious” issues in therapy But remember, there’s no “correct” topic to discuss in therapy. You can talk about whatever you want. True, some people come to therapy to address something specific, like anxiety or depression. During your first session, your therapist will ask questions to understand what you’re struggling with and what brought you in to see them. You’ll likely talk about some of your past (family history, traumatic experiences) and how your symptoms or feelings are manifesting today, and how long they have been showing up. After all, your therapist is a trained listener, not advice-giver. That does not mean your therapist is merely looking at you and listening while you talk. Any skilled therapist will be listening acutely for specific signals, which they then use to guide the direction of the conversation over time. We walk a fine line of being on your side but making sure that you are grounded and can maintain proper boundaries. So yes, we as therapists do talk about our clients (clinically) and we do miss our clients because we have entered into this field because we remain hopeful for others. Let’s recap. It’s natural and not uncommon to feel close to your therapist and want to be friends with them. However, building a personal relationship with them goes against most mental health counseling codes of ethics. It may also impact your therapeutic process and lessen therapy’s benefits.
Do I need to tell my therapist everything?
What can I tell my therapist? The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It’s a good idea to share as much as possible, because that’s the only way they can help you. In the end, there isn’t a huge need to ask your therapist if they like you—especially if you’re making progress in therapy. Because you wouldn’t be making progress if there wasn’t some sort of positive connection between you. But it’s actually a good thing to ask them. After you unpack your feelings, your therapist might provide you with some insight in response or help you deconstruct and synthesize what you just shared. They also might give you a task or something to think about if they think it’s important for your process. It’s okay to ask your therapist about their life. Any questions you have in therapy are valid and are likely relevant to the therapeutic process. Whether your therapist answers the question and shares personal information can depend on their individual personality, philosophy, and approach to your treatment. Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session. Therapy notes are private, so you don’t have to show them to your client, according to federal law. You can choose to share them, if a client asks, but many states allow you to make this decision yourself.
Is it OK to tell your therapist everything?
What can I tell my therapist? The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It’s a good idea to share as much as possible, because that’s the only way they can help you. Ask your therapists to communicate with each other. If you work with two therapists it’s in your best interest that they communicate with each other. This coordination helps your therapists plan your treatment and diminish any confusion or harm that could occur when working with two professionals at the same time. If you’ve been in therapy for a period of time and feel like it’s going well, you may want support from your therapist in the form of a hug. After all, the process of therapy can be very intimate and emotional. Therapists may take patients’ nonverbal signs of distress as a cue to change topics, but this may be at the peril of the treatment. Therapists must monitor their own body language so as not to convey discomfort or disinterest, which may keep patients from sharing. The therapist should state clearly that there will be no sexual contact and to be clear about the process and type of touch that will be used. Extensive use of touch, as utilized in some forms of body psychotherapy, is likely to require a written consent.
What is inappropriate for a therapist?
If a therapist talks excessively about themselves or overly discloses personal information, cannot accept constructive criticism, or refuses to discuss what the process will be like and what kind of progress can reasonably be expected, they are likely not the best choice for most clients. Psychotherapy is not supposed to be like a regular conversation. Over-talking, whether therapists are talking about you or—even worse—themselves, is one of the most common therapeutic blunders. Therapists do get frustrated with clients from time to time, but some can handle difficult clients better than others. This may be due to training or inherent personality traits. There are a few things that might contribute to this: you may not have developed the level of trust you need to feel safe with the therapist you are working with, you may be fearful of being judged by the therapist, or maybe you are afraid that opening the pain of the past might be too much to handle. Confidentiality sits at the very heart of an effective therapeutic relationship. The maintenance of trust in the practitioner and in the wider profession requires that anything discussed in sessions, be they group or individual, remains private. Like many therapists, Howes also doesn’t reveal much about himself because clients are paying him to work on their issues—and he doesn’t want to waste their time and money talking about his own life. As he said, “You don’t examine your dentist’s teeth, do you? Of course not, the focus is on you and your concerns.”
What do therapists think of you?
And don’t worry: the biggest, most central thing on your therapist’s mind is going to be YOU. Most of her attention will be focused on simply listening to you, and really wanting to get a good sense of who you are, and how you experience your life. When you’re on the job, the stakes are always high. The decisions you make as a therapist will affect people in different ways. That pressure of changing someone’s life for the better can really wear you down as an individual. You can often be drained both physically and mentally. Your relationship with a therapist can be one of the most meaningful, insightful, and productive collaborations you’ll have in your life. But it should ultimately come to an end — and that’s by design. “Therapy isn’t supposed to be forever,” says licensed therapist Keir Gaines. “There is an endpoint.” Most therapists will not judge you, says Peter Cellarius, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Gatos, California. If they do — after all, they’re human — a good therapist will not let feelings of judgment get in the way of helping you.
What can I disclose to a therapist?
Knowing that you can say anything to your therapist and it will remain in the room helps you feel safe and builds trust between you and the therapist. For this reason, all therapists are legally and ethically bound to keep their sessions confidential and not share with anyone else what was talked about. Although therapists are bound to secrecy about past crimes, there is a fine line as to whether or not therapists must keep present or future crime secret. If you are actively engaged in crime or plan to commit a crime that you disclose to your therapist or counselor, they may need to report that to the police. If your therapist tries to give you a diagnosis in the first session or makes you feel uncomfortable for any reason, it might be a good idea to find someone else. Therapy is an incredibly individualized process, so not every therapist is going to be the right fit for you. Today, counselors acknowledge that countertransference is inevitable. They are human and prone to having their own issues emerge, often without them even realizing it. Sessions can trigger past experiences, unresolved issues, implicit beliefs and an array of emotions.