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Do therapists think their clients are annoying?
Absolutely they do, but it’s just about different things. Two examples: When I had clients with anxiety, they’d often repeat things…it’s a symptom of some types of anxiety and didn’t bother me at all. I had a guy who was fairly well known and very sexist, and that definitely annoyed me. Yes, definitely. Sometimes in a healthy and helpful way, and sometimes in an overabundant, unhealthy way. For example, sometimes a therapist will think about a client who is attending a loved one’s funeral. They make a note of it to ask later how the client is feeling when it’s their next appointment. Of course we do. We are human beings, like anyone else, and often “gel” with certain people more than others.
Do therapists ever get tired of or become annoyed with clients?
Therapists do get frustrated with clients from time to time, but some can handle difficult clients better than others. This may be due to training or inherent personality traits. We walk a fine line of being on your side but making sure that you are grounded and can maintain proper boundaries. So yes, we as therapists do talk about our clients (clinically) and we do miss our clients because we have entered into this field because we remain hopeful for others. Psychotherapy is not supposed to be like a regular conversation. Over-talking, whether therapists are talking about you or—even worse—themselves, is one of the most common therapeutic blunders. There are a few things that might contribute to this: you may not have developed the level of trust you need to feel safe with the therapist you are working with, you may be fearful of being judged by the therapist, or maybe you are afraid that opening the pain of the past might be too much to handle. Therapists & counsellors expect trust in the sense that both parties understand and are committed to spend every session building it. The most critical component of trust is honesty, so consider being upfront about the fact that you do not trust a therapist 100% with certain information to be good practice at honesty.
Do therapists worry about clients?
Although therapists are not obligated to show concern, care, or love to their clients, you should look for one that does. Find someone who wants to truly understand you, takes consideration of your whole context, and can empathize. The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It’s a good idea to share as much as possible, because that’s the only way they can help you. Try starting by talking to your therapist and giving it some time to see how things change (or don’t change). If you don’t feel better about the relationship after a while, that might be the time to find another therapist to work with. Therapists keep a close eye on you because: It helps them take in not just the content of what you’re saying, but how you’re saying it, your body language, and other subtle cues. Eye contact is one of many active listening skills that help them listen to you more deeply and show you they’re fully present.
Do therapists listen to your problems?
After all, your therapist is a trained listener, not advice-giver. That does not mean your therapist is merely looking at you and listening while you talk. Any skilled therapist will be listening acutely for specific signals, which they then use to guide the direction of the conversation over time. Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session. If your therapist is the first person you want to talk to about it and you hesitate to take action before talking to her, you may have become too dependent. If you feel like you cannot live your life without your therapist’s involvement, you may have an unhealthy attachment. Many therapists use texting to schedule sessions with clients. But beyond that, professionals are divided as to whether it’s a good idea to text clients between sessions about issues that are bridged in therapy itself. Looking ahead. Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you’re not alone in thinking you’ve disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you’ve overshared and talk it over with your therapist.
Do therapists gossip about clients?
Knowing that you can say anything to your therapist and it will remain in the room helps you feel safe and builds trust between you and the therapist. For this reason, all therapists are legally and ethically bound to keep their sessions confidential and not share with anyone else what was talked about. Therapists may take patients’ nonverbal signs of distress as a cue to change topics, but this may be at the peril of the treatment. Therapists must monitor their own body language so as not to convey discomfort or disinterest, which may keep patients from sharing. For the specific event, therapists used silence primarily to facilitate reflection, encourage responsibility, facilitate expression of feelings, not interrupt session flow, and convey empathy. During silence, therapists observed the client, thought about the therapy, and conveyed interest. It’s okay to ask your therapist about their life. Any questions you have in therapy are valid and are likely relevant to the therapeutic process. Whether your therapist answers the question and shares personal information can depend on their individual personality, philosophy, and approach to your treatment.
When clients are quiet in therapy?
Silence, which is often thought of as isolating, can be an experience that brings the group together, as each client sits and reflects on their thoughts. In group therapy, silence can play an important role in progressing the conversation by giving each party the time to think and respond (Valle, 2019). Get Comfortable with Reflective Silence It can be therapeutically beneficial to allow clients to sit and reflect on their thoughts with your supportive presence. Therapists can communicate support, understanding, and acceptance with gentle reflections and affirmations. They see their job as helping you find your own answers, and they know that silence can help you do that. Sitting in silence allows a lot of things to rise up inside you—thoughts, feelings, and memories you might not normally experience. And that is what your therapist is hoping you’ll talk about. A safe emotional environment can be achieved through a calm talking voice, a slower speaking pattern, and thoughtful language. Every therapist should be attentive to the fact that each client moves at their own pace. For some, this might be fast and for others, it might take time. Talk therapy should be an open-ended dialogue about any issues or concerns a person is facing. A psychotherapist may take notes while a person shares information about their family life, relationships, childhood experiences, and symptoms or history of a condition, to name a few examples.
Do therapists genuinely care?
Yes. We care. If you feel genuinely cared for by your therapist, it’s real. It’s too hard to fake that. During the first session, your therapist may ask you: What are your symptoms? What brought you to therapy? What do you feel is wrong in your life? What can I tell my therapist? The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It’s a good idea to share as much as possible, because that’s the only way they can help you. Your therapist’s relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don’t communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session. Looking ahead. Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you’re not alone in thinking you’ve disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you’ve overshared and talk it over with your therapist.